In school, I was a good student but I struggled with maths and science classes. I still remember the feeling of not understanding an algebraic equation; as if I was lost and stumbling around in a dark fog. It was rare that I caught the concepts the first time. It was usually the case where, as if from nowhere, the penny would drop and I ‘got it’. That was a glorious feeling of relief. Chemistry class, however, was a different experience. I remember trying to memorise the periodic table and how the different elements worked together but I never understood it. When the teacher would explain how it worked and my classmates ‘got it’, I sat there confused and lost in a world I did not understand. I struggled through the year and barely made a passing grade. One thing was clear after that class, I would not be pursuing a career that involved chemistry.
When I read the stories about the disciples I find myself, on the one hand, being surprised at their inconsistency and, on the other hand, full of empathetic understanding for them. I sometimes imagine that they, after hearing Jesus explain that he was the Son of God, may have felt a bit like I did in my chemistry class. We heard the words you just said; we recognise there is a significance in the words; but we simply don’t get it. We’re lost.
The disciples seemed to continually struggle to understand Jesus’ purpose for his life and ministry. Even after Jesus’ repeated explanations, and their pronouncements of commitment and desire to follow; the twelve seemed to regularly misunderstand, misinterpret and misapply what Jesus was teaching them.
All throughout his ministry Jesus told people that he had come to reveal the Father. He even told them that he and the Father were one; they were the same (Jn 14.9, see post). But it wasn’t until the night of his betrayal that the disciples seemed to finally grasp what Jesus had spent so much time trying to make clear to them.
“Now we can see that you know all things and that you do not even need to have anyone ask you questions. This makes us believe that you came from God.” (John 16.30; NIV)
You can almost hear the penny drop for them. “Oh-h-h-h… now we get it”.
One of the most intriguing aspects of this enlightened moment, is that Jesus affirms their understanding. He knew they finally ‘got it’.
You believe at last! (John 16.31; NIV)
I think back to the story told in John 6 when many of the other followers left Jesus because his teaching was too difficult. When Jesus asked the twelve if they were going to leave him as well, Peter responded by saying, “Where else would we go, you have the words of eternal life.” (Jn 6.68). Peter was articulating an understanding that something was happening deep in his soul; but, it would appear, he still had not yet fully grasped the significance of Jesus or his words.
Later, when Jesus asked the disciples who did they think he was, Peter responded, “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God” (Mt 16.16). Jesus commended him for being able to hear the revelation from the Father. Yet, as we know from events that followed, Peter was yet to grow into a full understanding of that revelation.
But the belief expressed by the disciples in John 16.30 is different. In this passage they all ‘got it’. This passage is written as a collective declaration of belief attributed to all the disciples. The penny dropped for them and we can hear their excitement in the way they spoke, “Now we can see that you know all things and you do not even need to have anyone ask you questions…”
I find myself relieved for them; even relieved with them. The fog that brought confusion has lifted. No more stumbling and fumbling through the dark. They can now move more freely, no longer weighed down by their lack of understanding.
We’re looking at this story in the context of our recent discussions about considering carefully what we hear and how we listen. With that as a background, I can’t help but wonder what was going on within the hearts of the disciples for them to be able to say this? What did they hear that night that was different from what they had heard the previous three years? What tangible activity were they perceiving within their hearts? What did they recognise in Jesus’ words that enabled them to respond with this declaration of belief?