Belong: Families for the Lonely

Family.  That word means something different to all of us.  Think about your own family system for a moment.  What happens in your house on a daily basis?  How are evening meals spent?  How does your family spend major holidays?

I remember some of my early experiences with a different family system.  I had moved away from home to attend college.  Living on campus in a dorm full of young men was a fantastic experience – and some of those guys remain good friends.  On several occasions I’d go to one of their homes for a weekend.  I recall being fascinated by their families.  Whether it was how they did meal-times, listening to their interactions or noticing the subtle ways they treated each other, I couldn’t help but be aware of the differences from my family.  But apart from any observable differences, the best part was that these families included me as one of their own.  With each new college friend, I gained a ‘home away from home’.  Sort of like a new family.

The Bible tells us that God makes a point of putting the lonely into families (see Ps 68.6).  While I would not have described myself as a ‘lonely’ young college student, being welcomed as one of the family by these friends triggered something inside me.  I became aware of a longing I didn’t know existed.  I had a desire for family, for belonging; where I felt safe, valued and free to be myself.

If we think about it, aren’t these things what most people want?  To feel welcomed (wanted); to feel safe (protected); to feel valued (respected) and free to be themselves (identity).  These are some of the basic attributes in the Father’s family system.  He is a good, loving Father who makes provision for us all.  His manner and way of establishing the family system creates an environment within which we can all learn and grow together.

Becoming a part of a spiritual family, though it may be quite different than what we’ve been used to, will help us feel welcomed, safe, valued and encouraged to grow into our true identity.