I often wonder what those hours immediately following the crucifixion were like for Simon.  What thoughts ran through his mind after he denied knowing Jesus?  How did he deal with the sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach as he reflected on how he’d turned his back on his friend, his teacher, his master?

Jesus had actually called him Peter – Cephas – the ‘rock’.  And within that exchange, the only time Jesus ever called him by that name, Jesus also warned Simon that he would betray Jesus.  Imagine the incongruity of it all.

Simon, you’ve lived with the fact that three years ago I gave you a new name, yet I’ve continued to call you Simon.  Your new name, Peter, is a name of which you can be proud.  It’s a solid name; a name which reflects an uncompromising nature.  Now, in the very moment I finally use that name to address you, I’m also telling you that you will behave in a manner that is the very opposite of this new name.

I wonder if Simon was able to put all this together with Jesus’ statement immediately prior?

“Simon, Satan has asked to sift you but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail.  When you have turned back, strengthen your brothers” (Lk 22.31).

Even though Simon may not have made it through the ‘sifting’ in the way he likely would have preferred.  Jesus knew Simon truly was the ‘rock’ worthy of the name Peter.  Jesus had confidence in him.

But, what was it like for Simon during that day in-between?  Was he able to look the other disciples in the eye?  Was there tension between them all?  Simon, you and John went into the courtyard so you would know what was happening to Jesus.  Why did you run off?  Did Simon feel he was no longer worthy to be counted among them?

I realise this is my own speculation, but something the angel said to the women stands out to me.  When the women arrived at Jesus’ tomb and found it was empty the angel said to them, “…Go tell his disciples and Peter…” (Mk 16.7).

The angel didn’t say, “Tell the disciples and Simon…”   Not only did the angel refer to him by the new name, but the angel was aware there was already some sort of distance between Simon and the rest of the Disciples.  Had Simon already distanced himself?  Had he turned away?

Perhaps, the angel’s instruction was to indicate to everyone that Simon was still included in the group.  Perhaps, the use of the name Peter, was an indication to all that Simon was no longer to be called Simon.  Perhaps, the use of the name Peter, was an indication to Simon that, despite how he may have felt at the moment, he truly was Peter.

Simon…, Simon, when you turn back; strengthen your brothers.